Bad, Bad, Bad
“I’m mad…and that’s a fact
I found out…animals don’t help
Animal think…they’re pretty smart
Shit on the ground…see in the dark
They wander around like a crazy dog
Make a mistake in the parking lot
Always bumping into things
Always let you down, down, down.” – David Byrne
By Rich Lindbloom
When a friend of mine once told me he had bought about his seventh Talking Heads album he said, “I don’t know why I keep buying these albums?” To say the Talking Heads have an inimitable style is grossly understating there zaniness. Quirky isn’t quite the right adjective, but sometimes I think David Byrne ain’t right. Something tells me that he and I could have about as engaging a conversation as Einstein and me. (I could always counter Albert’s, “What do you think of my Theory of Relativity,” with a “What do you think of the Hawks third defensive pairing?” Obviously there would be considerable confusion, although I think I’d have a better chance of finally figuring out the Theory.)
The Talking Heads song, Burning Down The House, is probably a fairly apt description of the naysayers on the Blackhawks various blogs at the moment. Doom and gloom abound. Many are insisting the whole damn team be drawn and quartered. Indeed, “Who’s got a match?”
However, the Talking Heads song that came to the forefront of my rudimentary brain stem is one called Animals, from their Fear of Music album from 1979. The chance of this song being played on the radio are slim and none, so allow me to try to explain Byrne’s assertion that animals are bad – “they think they know what’s best, they’re making a fool of us.”
To me, it sounds like Byrne is singling out man’s best friend, describing some of their lesser moments. It’s a song that even I would have a hard time dancing to, which might explain my friend’s dilemma and the lack of air time on the mainstream radio waves. You can sense Byrne’s frustration with animals that may have lived in his abode. He goes through his lengthy list of grievances with those critters “making a fool of us.” While he’s ranting, there’s a voice in the background that keeps repeating one word, “Bad, bad, bad…”
I’m not sure any of our dogs ever got that “Bad Dog” message after admonishing them. Maybe if we didn’t start hugging or petting them moments later, it is very difficult to hate on a dog. After all, it wasn’t entirely their fault that the Black Bean Salsa from Trader Joe’s was left on the table, or they chewed a shoe left in the middle of the floor or as Byrne noted, “Make a mistake in the parking lot!”
At the present moment in this season, it might appear the Hawks are making a couple mistakes in the parking lot – that they are making fools of us. Any way you slice it, the Blackhawks have been bad, bad, bad lately. The game against the Bruins was making me so angry my daughter suggested I turn it off. I angrily said, “No, I’m going to punish myself.” There are times when only self-flagellation can help you cope!
Odd man rushes have become the norm again, often leaving analysts and fans saying Cor-dawg has been bad, bad, bad. As Steve Konroyd sagaciously noted after jumping on Crow a little, “After giving up 10 goals in two games, it’s pretty obvious that no one’s playing well.” Duh. Keith and Rozsival as a number one pairing – sorry but eventually bad, bad, bad things are going to happen. Scott Darling had a strong game in between the pipes – although Eddy-O and Foley really needed to stop talking about the two saves on Huberdeau. Yes they were great, but were they any better than many of the 36 saves on 37 shots Crawford made when the Hawks played the Penguins two Sunday’s ago. It’s obvious a lot of Hawk fans have a bad, bad, bad, memory when it comes to Crawford’s considerable contributions to the Blackhawk’s fortunes.
In fact, as long as we’re on the subject of bad line formations, Coach Q and his Wheel of Fortune line ups leave a lot to be desired. How he figures benching Ben Smith over Danny Carcillo or even Ryan Hartman is a smart move is bad, bad, bad. FU-Q – play Agent Smith, no one on the Hawks plays harder. I realize he’s gone 97 games without scoring a goal, but the quality chances are there. Coach Q finally seemed to “start making sense” when he rejoined the Nordstrom/Freddy/Smith trio against the Panthers. I did like what he did moving Versteeg with Shaw and Bickell – that line actually brought a little energy to the pond. A little truculosity, just what the doctor ordered.
It seems the Hawks have had a bit of a soft underbelly on this recent home stand. If you’re not willing to kick ass and take down names in this league, you can pretty much be assured bad, bad, bad things are going to happen. Before Tuesday’s effort, which picked up considerably after Kane’s early departure, the game against Winnipeg on February 6th was one of the most physical games the Hawks have played. They were out hit by Winnipeg 41 to 16, but they constantly took a hit to make the play. Marcus Kruger hockey. (As I type this I keep glancing over at the Penguin/Capital contest Wednesday night – those two teams apparently don’t like each other. One of the most physical battles I’ve seen all year.)
Bottom line, you have to be willing to stick your nose in it. (I realize this may be questionable dog training advice, but it works in hockey.) I remember reading about some WW2 hero who tried to play down his bravery. He said he was as scared as the guy next to him, but chose to be brave for one more second. Hold the line Hawks.
A player on the Hawks who has been taking a lot of hits lately is Danny Carcillo. I don’t know if it was a coaching staff decision, or upper management decision, but whoever decided to designate Carcillo as our enforcer ought to be shot. It was a bad, bad, bad decision. Size wise, Danny Boy is out of his weight class when trying to fight the Jet’s Chris Thorburn or the Bruins Adam McQuaid. Danny’s brave, yet ill-advised bouts with those two known thugs, is about as close as you can come to being a suicide bomber in the NHL. It needs to end. I’m tired of watching Carcillo get pummeled in an attempt to energize a lackluster performance by the team.
Of course, the bad, bad, bad, bad, bad news is the league’s leading scorer, Patrick Kane suffered a broken clavicle on a questionable hit by the Panther’s Alex Petrovic. While it wasn’t the dirtiest hit I’ve ever seen in the NHL, it was reckless and sidelined one of the NHL’s premiere players – perhaps for the rest of the season. The NHL is the big loser as a result of that cross check. A glance at Petrovic’s career statistics show a consistent pattern of bad behavior in whatever league he’s played in. He tends to accumulate a whole lot of penalty minutes. There have been a lot of Hawk teams where Alex would have had to pay the piper.
I did like the Blackhawk’s response – it was unfortunate that it took watching Kane hobble off the ice to light a fire on under the Hawks. Bryan Bickell transformed himself into a one man wrecking crew, laying thunderous hits on anybody in a white jersey. Several Panther players had to dust their britches off, as Bicks recorded seven licks in just under 10 minutes of playing time. Is it time to put Bickell with Toews and Hossa? Before you say that is a bad, bad, bad idea, consider how Saad would make our third line a lot more dangerous – and he might even benefit from a chance to do a little bum slaying.
Even Kris Versteeg got into the extracurricular activities at the end of the first period when he attempted to give Petrovic a wet willie in his left ear. A wet willie can be more annoying than a punch to the face, it’s definitely grosser. Brent Seabrook got a shot or two in on Petrovic before heading to the locker room. Likewise, Patrick Sharp put his two cents in – veteran leadership will be essential in Kane’s absence. Again, nice response Hawks. Petrovic may have inadvertently awakened a sleeping giant.
Versteeg will be counted on a lot more in the upcoming schedule. While no one can fill Kaner’s skates, there are times I think the only difference between Versteeg and Gretzky is one second. Versteeg likes to hang on to the puck for a moment too long. He hates to give the puck up, possessing a happy Gilmore mindset – “This is daddy’s puck and you don’t touch daddy’s puck.” Damn it Kris, is someone is open, give them the biscuit.
While most of Blackhawk fandom was in a bad, bad, bad mood Wednesday morning, I chose to remain upbeat. Like most NHL teams, when you lose a star player, the rest of the team tends to answer the bell. I was particularly enthused when Teuvo Teravainen was immediately called up – although for the life of me I can’t understand why he isn’t centering our third line instead of playing right wing. Teuvo is no Kane, but he possesses a lot of Kaner like skills. He’s not afraid to stick his nose in it.
For all you Hawk fans who have called the season over, take a deep breath. That’s a bad, bad, bad attitude. (Although I wish we still had Clendening at this moment. Dahlbeck anyone?) Keep passing the open windows. Hockey is a funny game – it’s the highest of highs and the lowest of lows as a writer from Nucksmisconduct recently wrote. The truth of the matter is, you always learn more about yourself in the valleys, rather than the peaks. While we certainly ain’t right at the moment, we have 21 games to sort it all out. I have a sneaky little feeling some of “the team” will pick it up a notch – we may not have seen the last of Crazy 88’s this season.
Other Important Stuff:
–I liked how Seabrook in between periods took a look at his keep in that led to the Hawks first goal. After watching it he noted, “Watching this, it was a pretty risky play.” Actually, if the Panther forward would have deflected the puck out of the zone, the Panthers would of had a two on 0. All’s well that ends well though.
–Was the Hjalmarsson bobblehead the worst bobble head ever?
–Kudo’s to Chris Block for his heartfelt comments on Steve Montador in his post at thethirdmanin.com
–What are the chances of that couple staying together in the Xfinity commercial – the one where the guy is told he can watch four sporting events at one time.
–I love the singing in the diner commercial, where they sing ooh, ooh child – some awesome voices.
–It may be kind of hard to see now, but “things are going to get easier.” – not really, but if Obama can win to elections on Hope, who’s to say the Hawks can’t win the Cup without Kane?
–Finally, I have to talk about a damsel who sat behind me at the Vancouver game. In the third period, the Hawks blasted a flurry of shots at Eddie Lack. With each shot and rebound the girl would holler, “Again!, again!, again!, again!” She got me so excited I screamed, “Keep shooting!” I turned around and we had a good laugh together. Had the Hawks dented the twine in that action packed sequence, I fear she would have collapsed in a moment of orgasmic exhaustion. You have to love passionate hawk fans – I guarantee you, she hasn’t giving up.
–Please Hawks, no mistakes in the parking lot tonight. It is ok to bump in to things, most notably Petrovic.
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Rich Lindbloom
